When I graduated from college with a degree in Psychology and English (with an emphasis in Early Modern Literature), I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. Since I was a child, I've had varying interests. This fleeting type of infatuation with specific tasks has followed me into adult life. I wouldn't exactly call myself unfocused, but ... I struggle with staying on task with certain goals.
For example, at 7 years old, I wanted to be a doctor. Then, at 9, I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. Then, there was a really blank period in my teenage years where I didn't think or care about my future -- shocking, I know. I cared about making money to do things with my friends and my boyfriend at the time. I'll give you two guesses how that worked out.
At any rate, once I graduated college, I panicked. My psychology degree was relatively useless in the field because I was convinced I did not want to continue school and get a masters or doctorate degree. My english degree was helpful, because I could read words on paper -- especially that $80k piece of paper that's in a frame somewhere in my parent's garage -- but not much else. I moved home with my parents and started looking for a job. I ended up working part time retail and part time in a social services setting. After two years, I progressed to two full time jobs.
At some point during this time, I had convinced myself that I wanted to teach high school English. A teaching credential wouldn't take a long time to get -- maybe 15 months, if I did an accelerated program, but I wouldn't be able to work during that time. And, you know, being the responsible 20-something I was, I had accumulated massive amounts of debt that required income to stay current. On top of that, I needed health insurance to take care of a chronic, long-term medical issue, and I couldn't stop working for fear that I wouldn't have insurance.
So, that dream got put on the wayside. After several years, I was just working like a normal adult. That's kind of how it happens. One day you're a kid, then suddenly you're a kid in a suit pretending like you know what you're doing. I switched careers at 26, when an opportunity for a stable, full time 9-5 type job presented itself to me. Starting over was terrifying, and I almost didn't do it. I was scared to give up what I knew, for something that felt like a set of handcuffs -- a REAL job. Not to suggest that my other jobs were not real, but the level of responsibility and effort I had to put forth in working as a retail manager was minimal compared to the corporate/office hierarchy I was preparing to move to.
Here I am, three years later, still in that same career. My life hasn't flourished -- yet -- but things are getting better. I excel at my job. People come to me for help and advice. My managers entrust me to train new employees. I also get to work from home four days a week, which allows me to pursue other passions like coaching young girls with a softball organization. In the past year, I've decided to focus on health and fitness and get my physical life in check with my professional life. And, I think I've found my next step -- maybe. Law school. I feel like I may be a bit too old to pursue this now, but my current job has inspired a passion for law that I didn't really know I had (unless you asked med when I was 9 and thought being a lawyer was strictly being a better at arguments than everyone else).
So, that's me in a nutshell. My love for writing hasn't faded after all these years. I keep a journal, I've had countless blogs that all fell by the wayside. But, I want to start again. I may not have much to say, but there's a lot going on in this world and maybe my little words will have some meaning, somewhere.
